Letting Go of Control
In our marriage, it is never really a good idea for me to drive and my husband to ride shotgun. When I drive, my husband gets uptight and is afraid I’m going to hitch onto the bumper in front of me (his words, not mine). He rides the passenger seat on-edge, shouting “watch out” every time we jar slightly in response to a moment in the side grooves. I’ve learned that a long car trip is much longer if I attempt to drive and much more enjoyable if he’s behind the wheel. The entire atmosphere of the car is much more calm and peaceful if he’s driving and I’m in the passenger seat.
Letting God have the Wheel
God has been speaking to my heart about taking my hands off the wheel. Letting go. Stopping my attempts to control everything. I see my hands tightly gripping the steering wheel of life at 10:00 and 2:00, sitting erect and on guard thinking that I have to get us quickly to where we are going and make all the right turns. If I take my hands off the wheel even for a minute it will all fall apart. I need to see myself as the passenger and Jesus as the driver. I can rest, enjoy the ride, and all the scenery around while trusting he knows the final destination and the best way to get there.
Somehow I’ve picked up from the Christian culture of church, Bible studies and conferences that the goal of the Christian life is to try to control every area of life perfectly, to adhere to the highest possible standards, and to try as hard as I can to steer life and navigate through obstacles with a smile on. But just like when I get behind the wheel on a road trip and hit the side grooves and the ride gets bumpy or miss a turn and the car gets grumpy, even when I am trying my hardest, I cannot control all situations or bypass all of life’s trials, problems, and mishaps.
What We Can’t Control
Thinking I had control of the steering wheel of life was always just an illusion anyway. A trick of the enemy to keep me stressed out, obsessive and up in arms. We never really have full control. We can’t always control what happens to our physical bodies. All my low fat healthy eating and teaching 4-6 fitness classes a week didn’t keep me from getting cancer. I can’t control when I get a migraine or if my kids get the flu. I can’t control that my knee still hurts and isn’t right after an injury during a volleyball game 2 months ago. I can’t control that adoption never happened for us even after 4 attempts. I didn’t have control when our house took 18 months to sell and we didn’t get the first 2 houses we offered on. We can’t control if interest rates go up or who gets voted into office. We can’t control if our husband loses his job or remains faithful in our marriage. We can’t control what choices our teenager makes. We can’t control if we get offered the dream job we applied for or if the company we work for transfers us. We can’t control if our air conditioning goes out, our roof leaks or our transmission fails. We can’t control if we get a return email, phone call or text. We can’t control how another person will think, feel or react. We can’t control another man’s temper or if they’ll make the right choice. We can’t control if we get the scholarship, the grant, or the acceptance letter. We can’t control if the person we dream of being with respricates our desire for relationship. We can’t control if or when we can get pregnant or how the delivery goes. We can’t control if our baby nurses, sleeps or cries or if our toddler throws a fit. Sure in many of these situations we can try to influence the result but we cannot control the result.
What We Can Control
Here is the one thing we can control: our response to the things we can’t control. It’s called self-control. We can control our own attitude, thoughts and outlook. So let’s stop spending all our energy, time and mental space obsessively trying to control what we can’t and let’s focus on controlling the one thing we can. Let’s work on seeing the best in others, seeing the glass as half full, making the best of bad situations, and giving thanks in all circumstances.
“It is better to win control over yourself than over whole cities.” Proverbs 16:32b GNT
2018/09/06 at 5:58 pm